The Surrealist Reality Ablator operates on the principle of overwhelming uncertainty in the face of utter nonsense. In the event that you are chased by Entirely Too Ordinary individuals having formed a Pitchfork and Torch Mob, the sonic waves projected by the Surrealist Reality Ablator make use of the Entirely Too Ordinary individuals' own auditory processing inputs into their neocortex to introduce Questions That Do Not Make Any Sense. While not guaranteed to work, it is Entirely Humane and Safe to Operate.

Before you, the proud Owner and Operator of your new Surrealist Reality Ablator, engage the device be aware of the following caveats:

1. The Surrealist Reality Ablator depends on working within the linguistic space that is shared with the target Pitchfork and Torch Mob. If it is miscalibrated to a Non Matching Language the effect may be significantly reduced or negligible. It should be Further Noted that the Surrealist Reality Ablator should not be used as a Linguistic Assistance Translational device, though the effects of using it are less Prone to Incitement than the a Certain Hungarian Phrasebook.

2. Use of the Surrealist Reality Ablator requires that any Pitchfork and Torch Mob be able to engage their auditory processing units semi exclusively upon the Surrealist Reality Ablator for approximately ten to thirty seconds depending on the particular Question That Shall Not Make Any Sense which is generated. It is therefore necessary for the Owner and Operator to appraise the Mob for a Silent Pause and employ Judicious Timing such that the full Question is input into the Mob Members' individual neocortexes.

3. Though extremely improbable, it is still possible for the Surrealist Reality Ablator to misfire and emit an Entirely Apropos Question. This can have even more unpredictable effects, ranging from Further Incitement of the Pitchfork and Torch Mob to calmly engaging the Deli Counter in an Order for a Cheese Sandwich.

4. The Surrealist Reality Ablator is approved for Safe Dueling, and it may be fired continually against your fellow Surrealist Reality Ablator Owner and Operator for an extended period. The suggested method is to determine a Default Facial Expression that shall be Masked Upon Thy Face and the first Duelist who fails to Maintain Thy Mask loses the Duel.

5. The Manufacturer disavows any Resemblance Made between the Surrealist Reality Ablator and a Fancy Cardboard Cone on a Handle. It is suggested that if this were True, you should Make Thine Own for Cheap and Get On With Practicing Thine Own Nonsense.